How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
