Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
