if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
