An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
