Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
