With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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