i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
