I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
