Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Randomize
