hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
