Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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