Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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