If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
COCAINE IS GR8
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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