i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
