I didn't shave. On purpose
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
