Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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