Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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