Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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