Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
