walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
