What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
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I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
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the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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