guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
