I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
