Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
