guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When did angry sex become our thing?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
