Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I want her autograph on my taint
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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