That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
