This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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