I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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