That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
