her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I am spending my child support on dildos
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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