The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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