just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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