My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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