life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
When are your genitals available?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
