Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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