if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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