We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
