thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
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I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
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should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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