So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
