I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
