Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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