Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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