Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
