i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
honey bunches of taint.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
