Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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