R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize