dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
