Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
