so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You did what with his pubic hair?
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