what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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