i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize