I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
