I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
