you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
