Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
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Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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