Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
