We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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