y did u give ur computer a hand job?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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