R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
