yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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