Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
